New Leaders of the Eldritch Cult

If H.P. Lovecraft-inspired Christmas carols just aren't, you know, dark enough for you, dig:



It's an excellent new album from The UK's Will "Seesar" Conner and his large contingent of daemonic underlings creating Lovecraft-inspired dark ambient soundscapes, much of it created with found things on which mortal man was not meant to be making music.  You might not necessarily know that from listening to this album, tho, as it's all quite musical, with each track creating its own sonic world. No random, self-indulgent banging-and-clanging here - Dr. Connor does have a PhD, after all.

The opening track is some genuinely spooky stuff - Mr. Connor shouldn't be surprised if horror film directors come a-calling. "Sirens" sets us adrift on a haunted ship lost at sea. Other tracks suggest dense rain forests, or swarms of giant insects. Way cool! Too bad this album came out after Halloween.

I asked Connor about he and the other members of his coven's use of found/invented instruments: "the re-purposed stuff is on all the tracks and that's all me, for the most. There's bicycles, pot lids, mixing bowls, unopened 2 litre bottles (they make great chime sounds!), bags of fertilizer (that was a less than pleasant day at the studio for my nose...), glass jars, various bottles, pieces of aluminum, newspaper, plastic, and much more. Arcaide makes a lot of his own electronics, and I think Benjamin Pierce does as well. Hell is Carbon is entirely guitars, but he used extended techniques for all the tracks to which he contributed. I think Druha Smrt, Babalith, and The Strange Walls (for this one track) used primarily store-bought instruments played traditionally, but, as you can hear, they stayed well away from standard melodic and harmonic material for the most."

ANOTHER WEIRD-ASS CHRISTMAS

Our pal Cat A. Waller has assembled another great batch of oddities, novelties, and cheese with a yule-time spin and I'd love to break it down for you, but Cat fears the copyright nazis, and would rather you just download this beast and check it out for yourself. Actually, a lot of it is quite old, so it's probably ok, but hey, can't be too careful nowadays. I can tell you that it's ingredients include: polka, lounge, the voice of Mr Magoo, holiday hillbillies, some helpful radio Public Service Announcements, some vintage burlesque naughtyness, a well-known indie rock band covering a song-poem, and a quite inexplicable number about a prog-rock star in his own winter wonderland. A wildly entertaining assortment that helps to make the season bright.

Cat's other collections, and a great discovery (The Ghostly Trio album) are also available here:

Cat A. Waller's Xmas mixes

Thanks, Cat!

ROCKING STOCKING STUFFERS

To make up for my absence from blog-land*, here's about five bajillion hours of weird Christmas music. There's even a new blog called WeirdChristmas.com that has two swell podcasts so far, featuring the likes of Hasil Adkins, Tiny Tim, song-poems, and the truly horrifying Danger Woman. Hoo-yah! Pour the spiked eggnog, we got ourselves a party.

Our Central California agent-in-the-field Don-O has whipped up this HI-larious collection of Christmas Chomedy. Only 11 tracks, but classics from Albert Brooks, and the Portsmouth Sinfonia ("The World's Worst Orchestra" - featuring Brian Eno on clarinet!) sit alongside more recent gems from Stephen Colbert (one of the first things I ever downloaded from iTunes), and rad rarities that are new to me, like the one from ye olden Los Angeles radio personality "Sweet" Dick Whittington, and the gnarly surf rocker from the Go-Nuts. Oh, and speaking of L.A. radio, The Credibility Gap was a great '70s comedy show that featured Harry Shearer and Michael McKean.

"Santa Shtick"

Despite the back cover artwork listings, there are actually 11 tracks; not listed is a message for KMart employees, and Jon Stewart's "Message From A Jew."

Don-O has also hepped us to the fact that the glory and wonder of Shittyflute now features Christmas songs. Yes! Inept flute/recorder solos (even the occasional violin) played over classic songs is a deceptively simple strategy that still makes me laff every time. Irri-tainment at it's finest. Much thanks to Don-O, whose "Hour of Crap" is happily now being archived.



It's Christmas-time, in the Shitty...

And if all that wasn't enough, prepare thyself for albums and albums of kooky kids and their DIY smart-ass home-brew christmas chrap, accurately described by our new Maniac pal Quentin as The Motherlode of F'ed up Xmas music: "people at the Something Awful forums have been doing an annual Christmas album since 2009. The complete archive is on Bandcamp at  

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/
- some highlights are:

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/ho-ho-ho-its-christmas-time (possibly
the greatest Christmas song of all time)

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/we-wish-you-an-adequate-festive-period

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/good-king-wenceleslas

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/das-sexy-reindeer-danz (this one's also
really good)

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/alcoholic-christmas

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/hell-bring-you-coal (parody of the
great "Hand of the Almighty" by John Butler)

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/christmas-cucumber-in-da-butt

http://saxmas.bandcamp.com/track/hey-everybody-its-christmas-time


There's also supposed to be a torrent of the whole collection at magnet:?xt=urn:btih:4DBFD6935BEB93965A4601A8B42CBE72B50947E7&dn=Goon%20Christmas%202009-2015&tr=udp%3a%2f%2ftracker.openbittorrent.com%3a80%2fannounce&tr=udp%3a%2f%2ftracker.opentrackr.org%3a1337%2fannounce - but I haven't tried the link, as my connection has a data cap. [UPDATE: Quentin tried it, and it works.]

I actually submitted one to this year's collection, which will probably be released shortly before Christmas - I sampled my cockatoo doing his normal spaz when I leave the room, turned it into an SFZ instrument, used a MIDI of "Carol of the Bells", and added some samples of my macaw talking. The result was described as "Christmas in bird hell" in the thread."

Eagerly awaiting that - Sampled animals are always welcome 'round my pink aluminum xmas tree. Thank you, Quentin.
 
*A nice Maniac even wrote asking if I was ok. I'm fine, just very busy.

WEIRDER-ASS CHIRSTMAS

As promised by compiler Cat A. Waller, 

"Weird Ass Chirstmas" is now up. Any Scrooge would have his head turned around by this: Esquivel, Mel Blanc, a guy singing like a frog, a track from the infamous "Star Wars" xmas album, Stewart Copeland of The Police in his oddball 'Klark Kent' persona, Fred from the B-52s singing about fruitcake and Sammy Davis Jr with an upset stomach, Wayne Newton going disco (one of my long-time faves), and, er...Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Christmas." 

Sorry to the requester who asked for "Bah Humbug: An Alternative Christmas" - can't find that one. But I did re-up this one, a whole album about trees.

See y'all next year!

ANOTHER WILD XMAS

'Tis the season for yet another installment of that beloved yuletide tradition, Bomarr's 'wild xmas' compilations of "...the best of the best, and the worst of the worst holiday music out there." And a rocking stocking stuffer it is, too, with some famous weirdos like the Residents and
Quintron & Miss Pussycat, a track from the Moog-sterpiece "Switched-On Santa" (hey, I had that one on vinyl!), and lots of stuff I (and probably you) have never heard of, e.g.: Uncle Anus' "Merry Fucking Christmas Ya Filthy Animals," anyone? A messed-up sound collage, that one is. Amidst all the outsider/novelty sickness is a wonderful '60s girl-group obscurity, "Christmas Time Is Here Again," by The Flirtations, not the Charlie Brown one.

"Wild Xmas With Bomarr" "a solid 79 minutes of madness, and definitely not safe for your sensitive parents." Seamlessly mixed, I might add.

But wait: he says that after 10 years, this will be the last one. Wha..? Don't let the Grinch take this from us! Ah well...have had a couple requests for the infamous Wayne Butane xmas sound collage and the entire 

"Merry Mashmas" 

collection, so it's now back up. As is another request, just in time for Frankies' 100 birthday bash: 

Frank Sinatra "Come Suck With Me."


 

"All I Want For Christmas Is A Goat"

The Worst Christmas Record Ever is back on-line. As well it should be.

And I thought that my beloved pot-bellied pigs Christmas album was the nuttiest sampled- animal- sound-fx Christmas album, a cherished tradition going back to Don Carlos' Singing Dogs in the 1950s. But this one just might beat 'em all. Goats! The silly Swedes behind this album chose very traditional, usually religious songs, and perform them with straight-faced solemnity. The contrast between these o holy nights and the goats' unholy screams is the funniest, flat-out weirdest holiday novelty I've heard in a while.

I'm not posting the album cuz it's brand new and the proceeds go to charity (Yes! buying weird music is finally tax-deductible!), so do the right thing and get it here:

"All I Want For Christmas Is A Goat" (or any number of other places, iTunes, etc.)

WEIRD-ASS CHRISTMAS

Maniacs! Do any of you have the "Trekkies 2" soundtrack? I've been getting lots of requests lately to re-up oldies, and that ones' file has gone missing. But lots more old posts are back up, cuz you axed for it:

"A Crafty Ladies Christmas"; 2 volumes of "Christmas Is For Weirdos"; lots of "Horrible Singing Children;"  RIAA's albums, except for the most recent ones (the ones on top, will get to those soon); and 8-count-'em-8 Zoogz Rift albums.

Merry Kissmyass! In the holiday spirit of giving, two fine Maniacs have hit us with some great comps of x-citing, x-otic, (x-hausting?) xmas weirdness:

"Deck Your Face With Xmas Music" - Don-O, who compiled the two "Ultimate Ultimate Xanadu" comps for us, is a wearer of many hats, two of which conjoin here: his 'zine "Twilight World," and his mix-tapes. In the latest ish (#20) of his compulsively readable publication, Don dishes at length on his fave Christmas albums (here's a preview), and this is the audio companion. Great stuff, ranging from the sleazy 1960 Sun Records "Rockin Stockin" single (perfect for "rated x-mas" burlesque shows), to some kooky Space Age sounds from the Three Sons, to a wild Optigan track (man, I gotta find a copy of this album), culminating in a spectacular reading by filmmaker John Waters on why he loves Christmas.

Cat Waller, who bequeathed unto us those lovely "Monstro Monster Mixes" is back with several volumes of yuletide yummies: 
 https://xmasmixes.wordpress.com/
We posted a link to this page last year when he put up "Rude Ass Christmas Mix (NSFW!)" which claims he has tweaked a bit for this year. I deffo also recommend the "Lynchian"  Ghostly Trio album, recorded off a tape as just side 1 and side 2. Concidentally, Don-O includes a track from it on his collection. And Cat claims that there's a "Weird Ass christmas Mix" a-comin', so keep watching the skies!

"Female Trouble": The Soundtrack

By request from multiple requesters requesting requests...now back on-line:
RIAA: "Sounds For The Swing-Set," "Radical, Intense and Awesome", and "Schizophonia Suite." And just in time for summer: "Soul Surfin'."

Following the recent post of the soundtrack to the John Waters film "Pink Flamingos," blogger extraordinaire Jonny Zchivago slipped us the OST to Waters' 1974 classic "Female Trouble." Ingredients: some splendidly sleazy early rock, inc "Underwater," one of my fave surf oddities; Nervous Norvus hippin' the squares to that jive lingo; the singing debut of Divine; some slices of corny suburban cheese; and choice bits of dialogue from the film. As the great Nervous Norvus would say, dig-a-roonee:

"Female Trouble" Soundtrack + Bonus Filth!

01 Divine - Female Trouble Theme [original lyrics sung over an existing song...but what is the song?]
02 "Christmas at the Davenports"
03 Gene Autry - Jingle Bells
04 Ruby Wright with Cliff Lash and his Orchestra and the Dick Noel Singers - Merry, Merry, Merry, Merry Xmas
05 "The World of Heterosexuality"
06 Chuck Río & The Originals - Blue Kat
07 "A Meatball Sandwich"
08 Nervous Norvus - Dig
09 Bill Black Combo - Yogi
10 101 Strings Orchestra - Bridal March
11 "Retarded Brat"
12 The Frogmen - Underwater

Order now and we'll include these free gifts! Some songs not on the soundtrack, but inspired by the film that I've added to the file Jonny sent us:

- D. Sticker Ensemble - Massey Resource [sound collage of film dialogue vs Philip Glass (?)]
- Eartha Kitt w/Bronski Beat - Cha Cha Heels [a couple of disco/house stompers]
- Rosabel w/Jeanie Tracy - Cha Cha Heels
- The Cowslingers - Cha Cha Heels [trashy garage-rock]

Thanks and praise to Jonny Zchivago!
  

Mark Mothersbaugh of DEVO's Mutated Christmas Album

This 1999 collection of eccentric electronic instrumental Christmas music by Devo's Mark Mothersbaugh doesn't sound much like Devo, or, for that matter, Christmas music. It does sound really nice, tho. As the song titles indicate, the tunes suggest famous Xmas carols, and sometimes just barely at that, e.g.: the cartoonish "Midnight Windup Toy". And isn't "Soylent Night" the greatest title?

Mark Mothersbaugh - Joyeux Mutato

01 Jingle$, Jingle$, Jingle$
02 Blue Joy

03 Midnight Wind-Up Toy
04 Bell Boy
05 Happy Woodchopper
06 Only 12 Shopping Days Left
07 Peace And Goodwill
08 Enough Xmas For All
09 You Better Watch Out...
10 Let There Be Snow
11 I Don't Have A Christmas Tree (Soylent Night)
BONUS: Devo - Merry Something To You [a barely minute long jingle from a 2010 Warner Bros xmas comp]

I was reminded of this album after li'l bro Paul Fab told me about the big ol' Mark Mothersbaugh exhibit he saw recently at the Denver Museum of Contemporary Art. (That's Paul at the exhibit, above.) It's a career retrospective of Devo memorabilia and Mothersbaugh's prodigious visual art output. Check the short (exclusive! not on YouTube!) video below Paul shot of some crazy contraptions: "I believe he calls them Orchestrions. It's a gallery (his kooky rugs on one wall) with four Orchestrions which all play together. They're mostly old organ pipes, but also many bird calls, whistles, metal bells and other noisy things. They're cobbled together with visible electric (and barely electronic) controls all left out and taped into whatever position they're supposed to be in. Every 5 minutes they start playing. What a cool sound."